Elderly relatives
Dec. 28th, 2010 05:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bluefirebird ...when the phone shows "witheld" as the number that is calling. Mostly it's someone trying to sell something I don't want, or the like, but unfortunately occasionally it is someone I want to talk to. People I know who routinely withold their number.
When the man on the other end says he's from a police station "don't panic" is quite a good thing for him to say next. I'm already a little hazy on the beginning of the conversation, but the gist of it is that he names my aunt and asks do I know her. Which of course I do!
He's standing outside her flat (ground floor), trying to look in the window through closed curtains, but my phone number is written on a piece of paper next to her phone which is on the window sill and therefore on the window side of the curtain. There is something about a care worker being unable to contact her, hence the police involvement. We know nothing about a care worker as her memory is too full of long and short term holes for her to be able to remember anything informative to tell us.
I am able to point him in the direction of my mother, who lives about 10 minutes away, and has keys that should work on my aunt's doors (apparently when the front door is "properly" locked from the inside, it can't actually be opened from the outside with the key!!!) so hopefully the police will not have to resort to plan B which is get the fire brigade to break in...
So right now I am sitting waiting for some feedback. I can envisage three scenarios:
1) The one we have had up to this point, that the police gain access and she is sitting watching telly or something and wonders what all the fuss is about.
2) She is lying on the floor in need of assistance and unable to contact anyone for help (where that mobile phone I bought her might come in handy had she ever mastered it).
3) She is lying on the floor dead.
All of which means that I am sitting here not knowing quite what to do with myself (hence the post!) I am dog tired from a late night visiting Pete's family last night - 140mile round trip. And not anxious to do battle on the M25 over to my folks if my aunt is sat watching TV. Actually I'm not anxious to do the drive anyway, but if she gets taken to hospital I will have to.
I had a lazy evening planned, in front of the TV and the computer, and probably an early night. But can't settle down to that until I know what's happened.
*sigh*
Police and parents gained access to my aunt's flat. No sign of her - she is AWOL!
Handbag and very necessary walking stick seem to be gone, and coat - although Mum isn't 100% sure of that.
Some of the curtains were closed, yesterday's paper was in the living room, but today's was on the mat behind the front door...
Makes you wonder when she might have gone out. I think the snow has pretty well cleared from her end, so she might have ventured to the shops, but when?
The police have taken a picture from my parents and I guess are currently looking for her.
As she has got more confused and more forgetful we know less and less about what she actually does with her days, she doesn't seem to have any friends among her neighbours (twenty years ago, yes, but they have died or moved away or both) and she has outlived most of her lifetime friends.
What worries me most is that this is probably going to cause Mum a sleepless night - Dad is apparently too confused to understand the implications. My aunt is 94 and virtually unable to live alone in her own home any more, she said she really enjoyed Christmas Day - maybe that's the time to go. Otherwise, if we do find her safe and well, I think we are going to have to move her to a home of some sort, and she doesn't want to leave her flat.
When the man on the other end says he's from a police station "don't panic" is quite a good thing for him to say next. I'm already a little hazy on the beginning of the conversation, but the gist of it is that he names my aunt and asks do I know her. Which of course I do!
He's standing outside her flat (ground floor), trying to look in the window through closed curtains, but my phone number is written on a piece of paper next to her phone which is on the window sill and therefore on the window side of the curtain. There is something about a care worker being unable to contact her, hence the police involvement. We know nothing about a care worker as her memory is too full of long and short term holes for her to be able to remember anything informative to tell us.
I am able to point him in the direction of my mother, who lives about 10 minutes away, and has keys that should work on my aunt's doors (apparently when the front door is "properly" locked from the inside, it can't actually be opened from the outside with the key!!!) so hopefully the police will not have to resort to plan B which is get the fire brigade to break in...
So right now I am sitting waiting for some feedback. I can envisage three scenarios:
1) The one we have had up to this point, that the police gain access and she is sitting watching telly or something and wonders what all the fuss is about.
2) She is lying on the floor in need of assistance and unable to contact anyone for help (where that mobile phone I bought her might come in handy had she ever mastered it).
3) She is lying on the floor dead.
All of which means that I am sitting here not knowing quite what to do with myself (hence the post!) I am dog tired from a late night visiting Pete's family last night - 140mile round trip. And not anxious to do battle on the M25 over to my folks if my aunt is sat watching TV. Actually I'm not anxious to do the drive anyway, but if she gets taken to hospital I will have to.
I had a lazy evening planned, in front of the TV and the computer, and probably an early night. But can't settle down to that until I know what's happened.
*sigh*
Police and parents gained access to my aunt's flat. No sign of her - she is AWOL!
Handbag and very necessary walking stick seem to be gone, and coat - although Mum isn't 100% sure of that.
Some of the curtains were closed, yesterday's paper was in the living room, but today's was on the mat behind the front door...
Makes you wonder when she might have gone out. I think the snow has pretty well cleared from her end, so she might have ventured to the shops, but when?
The police have taken a picture from my parents and I guess are currently looking for her.
As she has got more confused and more forgetful we know less and less about what she actually does with her days, she doesn't seem to have any friends among her neighbours (twenty years ago, yes, but they have died or moved away or both) and she has outlived most of her lifetime friends.
What worries me most is that this is probably going to cause Mum a sleepless night - Dad is apparently too confused to understand the implications. My aunt is 94 and virtually unable to live alone in her own home any more, she said she really enjoyed Christmas Day - maybe that's the time to go. Otherwise, if we do find her safe and well, I think we are going to have to move her to a home of some sort, and she doesn't want to leave her flat.
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no subject
Date: 2010-12-28 05:46 pm (UTC)I hope your aunt is sitting in front of the TV and doesn't know there are people trying to get to her from the outside.
no subject
Date: 2010-12-28 07:23 pm (UTC)Sadly it turns out that that is not the case, however it's not 2 or 3 either...
I feel I ought to be doing SOMETHING, but I have no idea where to look for her.
no subject
Date: 2010-12-28 07:35 pm (UTC)I'm thinking of you and your family, and hoping she's found safe and sound.
*huge hugs*
xx
no subject
Date: 2010-12-28 08:52 pm (UTC)Thinking about you!