Dear Diary...
Nov. 26th, 2010 12:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bluefirebirdWell I'm unemployed again - currently 2 months and counting, despite the "you'll be back in a couple of weeks" from my boss' boss when I handed my security pass in. I don't mind because it is becoming increasingly obvious that my parents are going to demand even more of my time over the next few years. Looks like my Dad is going to make this Christmas, when last year I didn't think that would be the case. There is nothing seriously wrong with him (except Alzheimers) it's just a general wearing out, and I think Alzheimers fits into that category too.
He started retirement with quite a long list of things that he'd been putting off until he retired but I'm not convinced he ever started on the list, let alone got any of it done. Looking back I'd say he just started retiring from life at that point. Several people suggested that he walk the half mile each way every day to collect the newspaper - just for regular exercise - but he was having none of that. Now he's got to the point where he needs a rest after even a few yards of walking. He's passed out on Mum on the quarter-mile walk to the bus stop twice now before we figured out that it was just his body unable to take the exercise anymore (because he'd stopped doing any). It seems to be caused mainly due to problems with the arteries to the brain, he does anything that makes the blood aim elsewhere and it completely stops going to his brain as well, and plonk! he's out cold...
He likes it when I am over at their place, likes knowing I am around, but we don't have much in common to talk to each other. (If he answers the phone when I call, he can't pass it on to Mum quick enough!) In fact his idea of a hard day now is squinting at the newspaper whilst sat on the sofa. This he manages in between naps...
It frustrates me in a way. He seems to have little interest in anything that matters - although he does have fixations with putting the rubbish out, locking the house up (even in boiling hot weather) and drawing the curtains - at 6pm on a summer evening, and still before it is actually dark now winter is here. He seems to me to just be sitting around and waiting for the end, which was why last year I wondered if he'd make it to this Christmas.
Mum will be 80 in a couple of weeks and doesn't seem to understand that she is slowing down too - although she does appreciate that looking after Dad is hard work. At times it is like dealing with a 200 pound toddler, especially on days he seems to be a badly potty-trained toddler and needs clearing up after.
It's not a good advertisement for living a long life. *sigh*
So once again with my time off I've disappeared too much into the world of fanfic. After a few months with very little time to read (whilst working over the summer), my brain started throwing up random memories from fics that I wanted to re-read, at which point started realising how much fic gets deleted for various reasons. Some I have chased around to author's new websites, some wonderful authors have sadly completely deleted their fiction although a couple have hinted at re-writing and reposting. The silliness at FFnet is still driving authors to leave, which is sad because it is a pretty good archive - although the sheer numbers of NCIS fics on the site (around 20,000 I think) make re-finding stuff kinda hard work. Thus my time is currently spent squirrelling stories away on my hard-drive where they ain't gonna be deleted (must back up better though, my other half just got a virus that munched all the .html files on his hard drive, which would be a disaster for me.) More and more LJ links seem to report "deleted", which makes me wonder if this purge of "unused" user accounts is catching far more than abandoned ones. I am also saddened by the idea that this purge will delete accounts for people who have died, when their friends would like to see the account remain as a memorial.
He started retirement with quite a long list of things that he'd been putting off until he retired but I'm not convinced he ever started on the list, let alone got any of it done. Looking back I'd say he just started retiring from life at that point. Several people suggested that he walk the half mile each way every day to collect the newspaper - just for regular exercise - but he was having none of that. Now he's got to the point where he needs a rest after even a few yards of walking. He's passed out on Mum on the quarter-mile walk to the bus stop twice now before we figured out that it was just his body unable to take the exercise anymore (because he'd stopped doing any). It seems to be caused mainly due to problems with the arteries to the brain, he does anything that makes the blood aim elsewhere and it completely stops going to his brain as well, and plonk! he's out cold...
He likes it when I am over at their place, likes knowing I am around, but we don't have much in common to talk to each other. (If he answers the phone when I call, he can't pass it on to Mum quick enough!) In fact his idea of a hard day now is squinting at the newspaper whilst sat on the sofa. This he manages in between naps...
It frustrates me in a way. He seems to have little interest in anything that matters - although he does have fixations with putting the rubbish out, locking the house up (even in boiling hot weather) and drawing the curtains - at 6pm on a summer evening, and still before it is actually dark now winter is here. He seems to me to just be sitting around and waiting for the end, which was why last year I wondered if he'd make it to this Christmas.
Mum will be 80 in a couple of weeks and doesn't seem to understand that she is slowing down too - although she does appreciate that looking after Dad is hard work. At times it is like dealing with a 200 pound toddler, especially on days he seems to be a badly potty-trained toddler and needs clearing up after.
It's not a good advertisement for living a long life. *sigh*
So once again with my time off I've disappeared too much into the world of fanfic. After a few months with very little time to read (whilst working over the summer), my brain started throwing up random memories from fics that I wanted to re-read, at which point started realising how much fic gets deleted for various reasons. Some I have chased around to author's new websites, some wonderful authors have sadly completely deleted their fiction although a couple have hinted at re-writing and reposting. The silliness at FFnet is still driving authors to leave, which is sad because it is a pretty good archive - although the sheer numbers of NCIS fics on the site (around 20,000 I think) make re-finding stuff kinda hard work. Thus my time is currently spent squirrelling stories away on my hard-drive where they ain't gonna be deleted (must back up better though, my other half just got a virus that munched all the .html files on his hard drive, which would be a disaster for me.) More and more LJ links seem to report "deleted", which makes me wonder if this purge of "unused" user accounts is catching far more than abandoned ones. I am also saddened by the idea that this purge will delete accounts for people who have died, when their friends would like to see the account remain as a memorial.
