The End of the World
Sep. 15th, 2011 03:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bluefirebirdYou see it all the time on the TV - how people react when their loved ones die.
Well, I can't take it in. It doesn't seem real. No, not my Dad (who I assume is still safely in the hospital), my other half's son-in-law rang me to say that Pete (my other half) appears to have died in his sleep on Tuesday night.
Now what do I do?
My whole world has fallen apart.
I'm numb, my heart rate has gone bananas. I'm not sure I even believe it, but Gary wouldn't play a cruel joke like that - in fact he's got the horrendous job of breaking it to all of Pete's nearest and dearest.
And I can't get hold of any of our friends on the phone either (although I guess half of that is because my body isn't working properly right now and I can't type properly!). I need to drive over there, but I have enough sense to know I'm in no fit state to drive at the moment.
And don't worry about it, I know that you don't know what to say, I wouldn't if I was reading it about someone else, and I sure as hell don't know what to say now that it's happening to me...
Well, I can't take it in. It doesn't seem real. No, not my Dad (who I assume is still safely in the hospital), my other half's son-in-law rang me to say that Pete (my other half) appears to have died in his sleep on Tuesday night.
Now what do I do?
My whole world has fallen apart.
I'm numb, my heart rate has gone bananas. I'm not sure I even believe it, but Gary wouldn't play a cruel joke like that - in fact he's got the horrendous job of breaking it to all of Pete's nearest and dearest.
And I can't get hold of any of our friends on the phone either (although I guess half of that is because my body isn't working properly right now and I can't type properly!). I need to drive over there, but I have enough sense to know I'm in no fit state to drive at the moment.
And don't worry about it, I know that you don't know what to say, I wouldn't if I was reading it about someone else, and I sure as hell don't know what to say now that it's happening to me...
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no subject
Date: 2011-09-15 08:49 pm (UTC)There is no way I could cope with replying to each of you individually right now.
As he was 30 years older than me, I always new that I would be unable to spend the rest of my life with him - that there would be a life after him. I just didn't expect to be starting that life this week.
Everything over the next few weeks and months will pan out differently than either usual or planned because he will not be there with me.
His son is currently in France with his own wife, and I am tonight at his daughter & son-in-law's house with the older of the two grandsons (who has very kindly left me to play on his macbook). The younger one has been left in blissful ignorance for his first night back at University.
I can't face telling my mother at the moment both because of the situation with my dad, and because my relationship with Pete has never been "out" to my parents (there's a story there and no, it's not that I am secretly male!)
I probably won't try to get in touch with anyone tonight, but I may take some of you up on the offers in the coming days and weeks.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-15 09:09 pm (UTC)BTW my skype ID is same as twitter if you need to talk at any time.
Thoughts are with you.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-15 09:33 pm (UTC)This weekend I'm going to be mostly away from my computer at my parents' house, and it'll be a pretty packed weekend, so I might not be able to support you properly until I get back on Monday. I just want to let you know that it doesn't mean I'm not thinking about you and sending all the sympathy and good thoughts in the world.
x
no subject
Date: 2011-09-15 10:13 pm (UTC)<3